AFBL News Archive - Columns from past GM's

No Homers, Just Fans Going "D'oh!"

SPRINGFIELD - Manager Montgomery Burns is certainly on the hot seat. The reactor in Springfield's nuclear plant is cooler than the seat under Burns' fanny after the Isotopes' horrific start. Burns can't blame his hitters, as first baseman Gilbert Gaugran (.336, 12 HR, 58 RBI, 12 steals), catcher Sheldon Youcker (.347, 14, 43, 3), third baseman Seemly Sam Rauscher (.305, 9, 43, 17), center fielder Ross Kirn (.294, 8, 36, 21) and left fielder Melbourne Bevington (.296, 12, 39, 9) make up the core of one of the league's best offensive clubs.

No, the blame lies squarely on the pitching staff. Only on this collection of man-goo can someone like Leonard Metzer (6-6, 5.00 ERA) be considered an ace. He has no real competition in the ace department, either, as Elijah Dolder (5-8, 5.51) is the only one that even comes close. Pablo Ur (2-7, 9.27) is among the league leaders in strikeouts, but he also doles out more than his share of free passes. Closer Martin Sumter is 3-3 witha 3.68 ERA and 14 saves, but the starters rarely give him a lead to work with. There's no help in sight in the middle relief corps, either, as Sid Doemelt and Marvelous Comrie own ERA's just shy of 8.00.

The Isotopes put their hopes in a young pitching staff, but they are taking more lumps than their talent indicates they should. If things don't turn around soon, like yesterday, Monty Burns' head will be served up on a
platter.

Thanks to Rob Oesterle - Springfield

 

DATELINE: Boston

Opening Day in Boston gave Beaneaters fans many reasons to cheer today. Owner Robert Monroe looked on as Manager Jim "Hoagie" Harkness led his AFBL Champions onto the field to receive their Championship rings. MVP Porter Abood had tears in his eyes as he accepted his symbol of accomplishment. "You go out every season dreaming of days like this . It's like we just won it all over again", Abood told the fans. Slugger Crawford Knock congratulated the fans on never giving up on them last year. "Sometimes we just had to believe the fans were right even when things were tough." The Beaneaters then proceeded to shut out the New York Knickerbockers 5-0. Catcher Palmer Nicolette went 5-5 with 2 rbi's. Crawford Knock had a HR, and Porter Abood blanked the Knickerbockers on 5 hits in a complete game  performance. Abood didn't allow a hit after the 4th inning, and seemed to relish being able to pitch in front of such a friendly crowd.

Thanks to Robert Monroe of Boston